Why I Run

Some days I question why I run. For health? To lose weight? A sense of pride and accomplishment? To collect medals? To challenge myself? To relieve stress? For therapy? I think for me, it's really a mixture of all these things, depending on the day. Lately though, it's really just been the biggest form of therapy and stress relief I have. See, things don't always go as planned. My life is definitely not at the place I thought it would be at right now, and it's getting increasingly harder to deal.

Everywhere I turn someone is pregnant. It's time to come clean. I was the one supposed to be pregnant right now. Before my life got turned upside down in August and my husband's career path got flipped on a dime. Now, instead, my husband is getting ready to deploy and the baby is being delayed for a year. It breaks my heart. That compounded with some medical issues, and I'm an emotional ticking time bomb.

Running seems to be the only thing I can control in my life right now. The only thing that I can say "this is what I am going to do right now" and have it happen. The only goal I know I alone I can shoot for and I alone am responsible for. It's therapeutic, when it's just me and the open road, I control how fast I want to go, and I determine if I am going to give in and quit or keep going and fight. It's really cathartic. The runner's high doesn't hurt either. So, I keep going. And I'll keep on going. I'm not going to quit. So then next time someone asks me why I run, instead of listing my myriad of reasons, I think I'll counter it with "why don't you?"